Negative body image is an incredibly common experience in our culture. When I meet with someone for the first time and ask them about how they feel about their body, it is a rare occurrence when someone is completely happy with their size/shape. Part of the reason behind this may be cultural: we live in a culture in which a great deal of emphasis is placed upon looks. We place value on the size of a person. Think about this exercise for a moment: what characteristics do you associate with the word, “thin,” and what characteristics do you associate with the word, “fat?” In reality, they are simply adjectives, but they have more meaning because of cultural values. Now ask yourself, are those YOUR values?
Sometimes people will respond with, “well, yeah, I want to be healthy.” Hear this: thin does not equal healthy. Nor does fat equal unhealthy. If you can do all the activities you want to do and a doctor says all of your systems are good, then I seriously do not care what the number on the scale says. Seriously.
Now, you might be thinking, “okay, Alexis, but there is just my (insert body part) that I want to tighten up/lose inches from/make more muscular and I think about it all the time.” What function does it serve for you to think about it? What are the promises you have in your head if that part “improves?” A little voice may say, when you have X, then you will be satisfied/good enough/happy. Check those promises. Have you had a similar experience with something else and not seen the promises delivered? Let’s work toward deconstructing those promises and figuring out how you can feel comfortable in your skin. Let’s make sure you are working toward your own values, not the values placed upon you by someone else. Let’s see what you can devote your time and energy towards if intrusive thoughts are not running the show.