“And you ask ‘What if I fall?’
Oh but my darling,
What if you fly?”
Anxiety is fantastic at telling you all the “what if’s.” Scratch that. Anxiety is fantastic at telling you all of the negative what ifs. What if I fail? What if I’m not good enough? What if no one loves me?
It doesn’t tell you, what if you are amazing and worth it and can do it?
Anxiety likes to offer us all of the worst possible outcomes. It does this to try to protect you. You may think, “well, if I figure out all of the bad things that can happen, then I won’t be surprised (hurt) when something bad does happen!” But guess what? It would still hurt. It wouldn’t actually make any of the suffering go away. In fact, you would only suffer TWICE. You suffer in your mind in preparation for the pain, and then again if something negative does happen. There is also the distinct possibility that you will suffer in your mind, and never have the bad thing happen. So then what was all of that worrying for? How else might you have spent that energy?
Being anxious is exhausting. You are constantly balancing all of the thoughts in your head, and may not even realize that this isn’t the way it has to be. You may have felt this way for your whole life, and this seems normal. But what if you are tired? What if you want a break? Who will think of all of these things if you do not?
Or perhaps your anxious voice serves a function. If you think of all of these things you need to do, or the perils of existence, or the pain that could be caused by a relationship failing, then you don’t have to tolerate boredom, or sadness, or another emotion that feels uncomfortable. Sometimes the thoughts are the way for your brain to make sense of the feeling inside of you. We actually want to lean in to the feeling, rather than run away from it. That’s where I come in. Reach out so we can get started.